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MS Symptoms Early

Medical Acronyms (slang) Page 2

 Acronym Meaning
BTSOOMBeats The Shit Out Of Me
BUNDYBut Unfortunately Not Dead Yet
BVABreathing Valuable Air
BWCOBaby Won't Come Out (needs Caesarian)
C&T WARDComa Ward - "cabbages And Turnips"
C/CCancel Christmas (dead)
C2A "can't C**t"; Lazy Physician Who Passes Off Work To Colleagues And Often Whines
CABGCoronary Artery Bypass Graft (Cabbage) - Heart Bypass
CAT6Triage Is Cat 1 (major) To Cat 5 (minor) So Cat 6 Means A Timewaster
CATSCut All To Shit
CBTChronic Burger/Biscuit Toxicity (obesity)
CCFCCPCoo-coo For Co-Co Puffs (dementia Or Similar)
CFCockroach Factor - A Patient's Ability To Survive Trauma Or Serious Treatment Is Inversely Proportional To His Contribution To Society.
CFDCall For Dirt (severely Ill Or Dying)
CFTChronic Food Toxicity I.e. Obesity
CFUComplete(ly) F*ck(ed) Up
CHAOSChronic Hurts All Over Syndrome (PTSD/Fibromyalgia, Etc.)
CHIBLOCClosed Head Injury, Brief Loss Of Consciousness
CIAChrome Induced Ischaemia - Patient That Develops Inexplicable Chest Pains When Arrested And Handcuffed
CKSCute Kid Syndrome
CLLChronic Low Life
CLOMICat Like Observation And Masterful Inactivity (patient Under Observation)
COPDChronic Old Persons Disease (unwell, No Specific Cause)
COSMONAUTCat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour)
CPMCalcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex
CRAFTCan't Remember A Fucking Thing
CRICranial-Rectal Insertion Or Cranial-Rectal Inversion (head-up-ass Syndrome)
CROACCCannot Rule Out Anything, Correlate Clinically
CRSCan't Remember Shit
CRTCan't Really Treat
CSDChronic Slapping Deficiency - Annoying/unruly Family Members Hitting Nurse's Call Button Every 5 Minutes With Minor Requests/inane Questions Or For Fun
CTDCircling The Drain (Close To Death)
CTFCletus The Fetus (US). A 23 Week, Or Earlier, Births That Parents Expect To Survive Against All Odds
CTSCold-tea Sign / Cold Tea Syndrome - Refers To The Several Cups Of Cold Tea On The Bedside Cabinet Beside A Dead Geriatric (i.e. No-one Noticed The Patient Had Died)
CTSCrazier Than Shit
CYACover Your Ass; Unnecessary Procedure/prescription Done To Avoid Being Sued
D&DDivorced And Desperate (middle Aged Female Who Visits Doctor Weekly Just For Male Attention)
D&DDeath And Donuts (night Shift)
DACB(US) Drunk As Cooter Brown (UK Equivalent Is PAAF/PIAF)
DBIDirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed
DENTISTDoesn't Even Need Treatment - It's Sorted, Truly
DFDude Factor - Survival Scoring Factor Based On Social Worth. A High Dude Factor = An Individual Of Questionable Social Worth Who Survives Near-fatal Injuries. A Low Dude Factor = Professional Person Who Slips In The Bathroom Sustaining A Fatal Injury
DFO(US) Done Fell Out (anything From Fainting To Cardiac Arrest)
DFODrunk And Fell Over
DFO-SFJDone Fell Out - Screaming For Jesus
DIDCDose Of I Don't Care - Pain-killing Meds That Make Patient Light-headed
DIDRDose Of I Don't Remember - Pain-killing Meds That Leave Patient Without Memory Of Painful Procedure
DIFFCDropped In For Friendly Chat (i.e. No Medical Problem)
DIIKDarned If I Know
DILFDoctor I'd Like To F*** (Fornicate With): Nursing Slang For Good-looking Doctor

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