| Acronym | Meaning |
 | 5-H-1-T | Polite Medical Term For Shit |
| NAD | Not Actually Done |
| BSS | Bilateral Samsonite Syndrome: Patient Admitted With Both Their Bags Packed In Preparation |
| DPS | (Hospitals) Disappearing Penis Syndrome: The Usual Reaction Of The Male Organ In Response To Insertion Of Catheter Or Endoscope |
| CCFCCP | Coo-coo For Co-Co Puffs (dementia Or Similar) |
| CRAFT | Can't Remember A Fucking Thing |
| 10TH FT | 10th Floor Transfer - Dying (floor Number Is Always The Next Number On From The Highest Floor In The Hospital). |
| LGFTC | Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined) |
| CKS | Cute Kid Syndrome |
| LOLINAD | Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress |
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