| Acronym | Meaning |
 | TTTR | Tooth To Tattoo Ratio - Visual Determination Of Basic Intelligence. A Positive Ratio (more Teeth Then Tattoos) Is Generally Better Than A Negative Ratio, Which Is Bad. |
| COSMONAUT | Cat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour) |
| HI5 | HIV Positive ("V" Being The Roman Numeral For 5) |
| PDSD | Pre-Detention Stress Disorder - A Person Who Feigns Medical Symptoms When Police Handcuff Him |
| TCS | Toxic Confusional State - Confused, Usually Elderly, Person Whose Problem Is Due To Constipation (toxic Build Up In Body) |
| PWFS | Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - An Ailment Which Presents At GP Surgeries On Monday Mornings |
| VTMK | Voice To Melt Knickers (the Voice Deliberately Cultivated By Some Doctors) |
| PGT | Pissed (Drunk) And Got Thumped |
| GACP | Gravity Assisted Concrete Poisoning - Jumped / Fell From Height |
| FITH | F*cked In The Head |
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