| Acronym | Meaning |
| NQRITH | Not Quite Right In The Head |
| PRATFO | Patient Reassured And Told To F*** Off |
| DILF | Doctor I'd Like To F*** (Fornicate With): Nursing Slang For Good-looking Doctor |
| CYA | Cover Your Ass; Unnecessary Procedure/prescription Done To Avoid Being Sued |
| ESBAM | Eat Shit And Bark At The Moon (or "not Bloody Likely" In UK English) |
| FOB | Found On Bench |
| FORD | Found On Road Dead |
| FLKBCOTP | Funny Looking Kid But Check Out The Parents |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| EDGATWTTTF | Elevator Doesn't Go All The Way To The Top Floor (questionable IQ) |