| Acronym | Meaning |
 | FOALS NEIGH | F*ck Off And Let Someone Not Extremely Incompetent Get Here |
| DILLIGAF | Do I Look Like I Give A F*ck |
| NQR | Not Quite Right |
| RHS | Rocking Horse Stool - Even Rarer Than Hen's Teeth |
| PBOO | Pine Box On Order |
| TEETH | Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy |
| CTS | Cold-tea Sign / Cold Tea Syndrome - Refers To The Several Cups Of Cold Tea On The Bedside Cabinet Beside A Dead Geriatric (i.e. No-one Noticed The Patient Had Died) |
| MIDI | Myocardial Infarction During Intercourse (heart Attack During Sex) |
| FIDO | F*ck It, Drive On (a Waste Of Time/hoax Ambulance Call) |
| CF | Cockroach Factor - A Patient's Ability To Survive Trauma Or Serious Treatment Is Inversely Proportional To His Contribution To Society. |
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