| Acronym | Meaning |
 | MCBP | Member Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| FIDO | F*ck It, Drive On (a Waste Of Time/hoax Ambulance Call) |
| PLTDP | Practice Limited To Dead People |
| PP | Pumpkin Positive - A Penlight Shone Into The Patient's Mouth/ear Would Encounter A Brain So Small That The Whole Head Would Light Up |
| TFTB | Too Fat To Breathe |
| UGLI | Ugly: A Patient (usually A Child) Who Looks A Bit Odd But Has Nothing Wrong With Them |
| NARS | Not A Rocket Scientist (low IQ) |
| RLI | Rapid Lead Infusion - Obnoxious Patient Ought To Be Shot |
| SODDI | Some Other Doctor Did It (when One Medic's Botched Jobs Must Be Put Right/answered For By Someone Else) |
| DILF | Doctor I'd Like To F*** (Fornicate With): Nursing Slang For Good-looking Doctor |
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