| Acronym | Meaning |
 | PPPPP | Piss Poor Protoplasm Poorly Put-together (really Old And / Or Decrepit) |
| C&T WARD | Coma Ward - "cabbages And Turnips" |
| DQ | Drama Queen |
| COPD | Chronic Old Persons Disease (unwell, No Specific Cause) |
| LOLFDGB | Little Old Lady, Fall Down, Go Boom |
| AOB | Alcohol On Board |
| KOKO | Keep On Keeping On. |
| SVRI | Something Very Wrong Inside (usually Terminal) |
| CCFCCP | Coo-coo For Co-Co Puffs (dementia Or Similar) |
| UPF | Un-Passed Fart (gaseous Distended Abdomen) |
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