| Acronym | Meaning |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| NGMI | Not Going To Make It |
| CTS | Crazier Than Shit |
| PWFS | Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - An Ailment Which Presents At GP Surgeries On Monday Mornings |
| FTD | Fixing To Die |
| ART | Approaching Room Temperature (dead) |
| SOG | Sick Old Guy (male Version Of LOL (Little Old Lady)) |
| PP | Plank Positive - Stupid, As In "thick As 2 Short Planks" |
| AE | Aggressive Euthanasia - A Procedure That Obnoxious Patients Would Benefit From. |
| ALC | A La Casa (send The Patient Home) |