| Acronym | Meaning |
 | TARFU | Things Are Really F*cked Up |
| PWFS | Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - An Ailment Which Presents At GP Surgeries On Monday Mornings |
| PP | Plank Positive - Stupid, As In "thick As 2 Short Planks" |
| FOOBA | Found On Ortho Barely Alive (a Play On FUBAR - F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition) |
| PITA | Pain In The Ass |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| CCFCCP | Coo-coo For Co-Co Puffs (dementia Or Similar) |
| PBTB | Pine Box To Bedside; Indicates An Imminent Demise |
| GRAFOB | Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed |
| POMT | Please Optimize Medical Treatment - Don't Call Us Until You've Done Your Job First |
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