| Acronym | Meaning |
 | GOLP | Generalised Old Lady Pains |
| TCS | Toxic Confusional State - Confused, Usually Elderly, Person Whose Problem Is Due To Constipation (toxic Build Up In Body) |
| TSL | Too Stupid To Live |
| JDFR | Just Doesn't Feel Right - Most Common Complaint Of LOL's (Little Old Ladies) And SOG's (Sick Old Guys) |
| FOS | Full Of Sh*t (either Severely Constipated Or Metaphorically) |
| LFTWM | Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse) |
| BUNDY | But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet |
| NETMA | Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything (generally A Doctor's Gripe On A Patient's Chart) |
| 404 | 404 Moment. On Card Rounds - When A Patient's Medical Records Cannot Be Located (from Internet Error Message: 404 Page Not Found) |
| UFO | Unidentified Frozen Object: Unidentified Dead Homeless Person In The Winter |
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