| Acronym | Meaning |
 | AST | Assuming Seasonal Temperature (dead) |
| MICO | Masterly Inactivity And Catlike Observation |
| TTJ | Transfer To Jesus |
| DKA | Don't/Doesn't Know Anything (but Is Explained To Relatives As Diabetic Ketoacidosis If Challenged) |
| TATT | Talks All The Time (also "Tired All The Time") |
| PP | Pumpkin Positive - A Penlight Shone Into The Patient's Mouth/ear Would Encounter A Brain So Small That The Whole Head Would Light Up |
| ESBAM | Eat Shit And Bark At The Moon (or "not Bloody Likely" In UK English) |
| TWSAM | Trash Will Survive And Multiply |
| OPD | Obnoxious Personality Disorder |
| CSD | Chronic Slapping Deficiency - Annoying/unruly Family Members Hitting Nurse's Call Button Every 5 Minutes With Minor Requests/inane Questions Or For Fun |
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