| Acronym | Meaning |
 | SIG | Stroppy Ignorant Girl |
 | LOBNH | Lights On But Nobody Home |
 | TUBE | Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination (might Happen To A GLM / MILF) |
 | QID | Queen In Distress (hissy Fit) |
 | D&D | Divorced And Desperate (middle Aged Female Who Visits Doctor Weekly Just For Male Attention) |
 | JLD | Just Like Dad (often Used To Explain An FLK) |
 | APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
 | GPO | Good For Parts Only (won't Survive) |
 | GOLP | Generalised Old Lady Pains |
 | CROACC | Cannot Rule Out Anything, Correlate Clinically |