| Acronym | Meaning |
 | SIG | Stroppy Ignorant Girl |
| LOBNH | Lights On But Nobody Home |
| TUBE | Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination (might Happen To A GLM / MILF) |
| QID | Queen In Distress (hissy Fit) |
| D&D | Divorced And Desperate (middle Aged Female Who Visits Doctor Weekly Just For Male Attention) |
| JLD | Just Like Dad (often Used To Explain An FLK) |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| GPO | Good For Parts Only (won't Survive) |
| GOLP | Generalised Old Lady Pains |
| CROACC | Cannot Rule Out Anything, Correlate Clinically |
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