| Acronym | Meaning |
 | WITPOMS | Why Is This Patient On My Service |
| ALS | Absolute Loss Of Sanity (nutcase) |
| 3H | Enema That Is "high, Hot, And A Hell Of A Lot." Reputedly Given To Patients Who Give Staff A Hard Time. |
| TMI | Three Meaningless Initials (e.g. John Smith, TMI - Applied To Medics With Qualifications Rather Than Ability) |
| AOB | Alcohol On Board |
| PIAF | PIssed As A Fart (drunk) (also PAAF -Pissed As A Fart) |
| TAPS | Thick As Pig Sh*t |
| NSA | Non-Standard Appearance (what A FLK Grows Into) |
| DTS | Danger To Shipping (in Reference To Particularly Large Patients) |
| UBI | Unexplained Beer Injury |
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