| Acronym | Meaning |
| YMRASU | Your Medical Records Are Screwed Up |
| MTF | Metabolize To Freedom (i.e. Let The Person Sober Up, And Then They Can Leave) |
| PP | Pumpkin Positive - A Penlight Shone Into The Patient's Mouth/ear Would Encounter A Brain So Small That The Whole Head Would Light Up |
| ALPAC | Acute Lead Poisoning Air-conditioned - Multiple Gun Shot Wounds |
| MARPS | Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals |
| MICOS | Masterly Inactivity, Cat-like Observation And Steroids |
| SOCMOB | Standing On Corner Minding Own Business (when Inexplicably Injured) |
| FFDID | Found Face Down In Ditch |
| TBP | Total Body Pain |
| 45C | Patient Is One Chromosome Short Of A Full Set (questionable IQ) |