| Acronym | Meaning |
 | APRS | (US) Acute Puerto Rican Syndrome (bouts Of Screaming And Yelling) |
| 3H | Enema That Is "high, Hot, And A Hell Of A Lot." Reputedly Given To Patients Who Give Staff A Hard Time. |
| LMC | Low Marble Count (low IQ) |
| AWTF | Away With The Fairies; A Patient Who Is Totally Confused |
| AHF | Acute Hissy Fit |
| WNL | (Ambulance/casualty) Within Normal Limits, But More Often Interpreted As We Never Looked |
| MU PAIN | Made Up Pain (especially For Sick Notes And Insurance Claims) |
| DQ | Drama Queen |
| FFDIG | Found Face Down In Gutter |
| UNIVAC | Unusually Nasty Infection, Vultures Are Circling |
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