| Acronym | Meaning |
 | CRAFT | Can't Remember A Fucking Thing |
| TLGP | Two Legged Guinea Pig - Patient Undergoing Experimental Or Extreme Treatments |
| EMT | Extraordinary Masochistic Tendencies (joke At Expense Of Emergency Medical Technicians) |
| JNR | Just Not Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet) |
| VOMIT | Victim Of Modern Imaging Technology (i.e. Try Treating The Patient, Not The Report From Radiology; Particularly Referring To Invasive Procedures For False Positives. |
| EDDU | Eating Drinking Defecating Urinating (but Not Much Else) |
| ESBAM | Eat Shit And Bark At The Moon (or "not Bloody Likely" In UK English) |
| OAP | Over-Anxious Patient |
| SHS | Sullen, Hostile, Stupid (often An Inner City Drug/alcohol Addict) |
| COSMONAUT | Cat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour) |
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