| Acronym | Meaning |
 | HLCS | Happy Little Campers - Children In Oxygen Tents |
| HMF | Hysterical Mother Figure |
| HOP | House Of Pain (nursing Home) |
| HOPEFUL | Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life (i.e. OAPs Are Not Priority For Most Hospitals) |
| HSPL | High Serum Porcelain Level - Patient Is A Crock Of Sh*t |
| HST | High Slug Titre - Lazy Patient (slug) That Won't Get Out Of Bed |
| HTD | Higher Than A Duck |
| HTK | Higher Than A Kite |
| HVLT | High Velocity Lead Poisoning: Gunshot Wound |
| IFOI | "I Fell On It" - (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| IHC | Improving His Claim - Victim Of Minor Accident, Needs No Treatment But Wants Something To Support His Insurance/legal Claim. |
| IOTC | Icing On The Cake - Lethal Tumor Discovered In The X-rays Of A Heart Attack Victim. |
| IP | Insurance Pain - Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump |
| ISQ | In Status Quo ("no Change"): Often Used During The Weekend Surgical Round |
| ITBNTL | In The Box, Nail The Lid (dead Or Dying) |
| IW | Insurance Whiplash - Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump |
| IWB | Intercourse With Biscuits (F**king Crackers) |
| JAFFA | Just Another Fat, F***ing Assh*le |
| JAR | JAR Syndrome: Just Ain't Right (often Used When A Patient Has Multiple Issues) |
| JDFR | Just Doesn't Feel Right - Most Common Complaint Of LOL's (Little Old Ladies) And SOG's (Sick Old Guys) |
| JDLR | Just Doesn't Look Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet) |
| JIC | Jesus Is Calling |
| JLD | Just Like Dad (often Used To Explain An FLK) |
| JNR | Just Not Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet) |
| JPFROG | Just Plain F***ing Ran Out Of Gas (old Age, Etc) |
| JPS | Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack Of Common Sense) |
| KAGC | Knife And Gun Club - (US) Local Street Gangs Or Criminal Organizations That Keep ER In Business OR The Emergency Departments That Care For Patients With The Results Of Street Gang Violence |
| KFO | Knock The F*cker Out (patient Either Obnoxious Or Screaming In Pain) |
| KOKO | Keep On Keeping On. |
| KSS | Kidney Stone Squirm - A Spot Diagnosis In A&E |
| LDF | Lying Down Fit |
| LFTWM | Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse) |
| LGFD | Looks Good From Door (but Not Closely Examined) |
| LGFTC | Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined) |
| LMC | Low Marble Count (low IQ) |
| LOBNH | Lights On But Nobody Home |
| LOFD | Looks Okay From Door |
| LOL | Little Old Lady |
| LOLFDGB | Little Old Lady, Fall Down, Go Boom |
| LOLINAD | Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress |
| LOLITS | (US) Little Old Lady In Tennis Shoes (60+ Years-old); (UK) Little Old Lady In Twin-Set (50-60+ Years-old) |
| LPT | Low Pain Threshold |
| LRO | Luck Ran Out (cheated Death Before, But Not This Time) |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| LWS | (US) Low Wallet Syndrome (No Medical Insurance Or Money) |
| MAFAT | Mandatory Anasthaesia F**k Around Time, Precedes Any Incision |
| MARPS | Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals |
| MCBP | Member Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| MFB | Measure For Box (coffin) |
| MFC | Measure For Coffin |
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