| Acronym | Meaning |
| DMFNFL | Dumb Mother F*cker, Not Fit To Live |
| TARFU | Things Are Really F*cked Up |
| DILF | Doctor I'd Like To F*** (Fornicate With): Nursing Slang For Good-looking Doctor |
| SFSF | Sphincter Factor Scale: 1 To 10 Scale Indicating Degree Of Bowel-loosening In Response To An Emergency |
| CTD | Circling The Drain (Close To Death) |
| SHS | Sullen, Hostile, Stupid (often An Inner City Drug/alcohol Addict) |
| TUBE | Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination (might Happen To A GLM / MILF) |
| DIDR | Dose Of I Don't Remember - Pain-killing Meds That Leave Patient Without Memory Of Painful Procedure |
| OBE | Open Both Ends (known In UK As DNV - Diarrhoea And Vomiting) |
| FOS | Full Of Sh*t (either Severely Constipated Or Metaphorically) |