| Acronym | Meaning |
| FCBP | Fellow Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| IFOI | "I Fell On It" - (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| RHS | Rocking Horse Stool - Even Rarer Than Hen's Teeth |
| PAAF | Pissed As A Fart (also PIAF -PIssed As A Fart) |
| AQR | Ain't Quite Right |
| AST | Assuming Seasonal Temperature (dead) |
| ADR | Ain't Doing Right |
| GOK | God Only Knows |
| GTG | Go To Ground - Fall Out Of Bed Or Chair |
| IP | Insurance Pain - Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump |