| Acronym | Meaning |
| LOFD | Looks Okay From Door |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| PRATFO | Patient Reassured And Told To F*** Off |
| SWI | Something Wrong Inside |
| RTTBBB | Rat-a-Tat-Tat With A Baseball Bat (hit With Blunt Instrument). |
| NQR | Not Quite Right |
| TEETH | Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy |
| RHS | Rocking Horse Stool - Even Rarer Than Hen's Teeth |
| POMT | Please Optimize Medical Treatment - Don't Call Us Until You've Done Your Job First |
| DACB | (US) Drunk As Cooter Brown (UK Equivalent Is PAAF/PIAF) |