| Acronym | Meaning |
 | JAFFA | Just Another Fat, F***ing Assh*le |
| WITPOMS | Why Is This Patient On My Service |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| TOG | Tears Of Gratitude |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| ULPP | Unlicensed Pharmaceutical Provider (drug Dealer) |
| BTH | Bury The Hatchet - Accidently Leave A Surgical Instrument Inside A Patient. |
| SBLEO | (pronounced S-B-Leo) Suicide By Law Enforcement Officer |
| PLH | Pray Long And Hard |
| TBD | Total Body Dolor I.e. Complains Of Pain Everywhere |
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