| Acronym | Meaning |
 | UNIVAC | Unusually Nasty Infection, Vultures Are Circling |
| CRAFT | Can't Remember A Fucking Thing |
| D&D | Divorced And Desperate (middle Aged Female Who Visits Doctor Weekly Just For Male Attention) |
| CSD | Chronic Slapping Deficiency - Annoying/unruly Family Members Hitting Nurse's Call Button Every 5 Minutes With Minor Requests/inane Questions Or For Fun |
| PNR | Person Needed A Ride I.e. Minor Ailment But Called Ambulance Instead Of Taxi |
| HI5 | HIV Positive ("V" Being The Roman Numeral For 5) |
| JPS | Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack Of Common Sense) |
| LOFD | Looks Okay From Door |
| 3H | Enema That Is "high, Hot, And A Hell Of A Lot." Reputedly Given To Patients Who Give Staff A Hard Time. |
| SHS | Sullen, Hostile, Stupid (often An Inner City Drug/alcohol Addict) |
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