| Acronym | Meaning |
| CTS | Cold-tea Sign / Cold Tea Syndrome - Refers To The Several Cups Of Cold Tea On The Bedside Cabinet Beside A Dead Geriatric (i.e. No-one Noticed The Patient Had Died) |
| JPS | Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack Of Common Sense) |
| VTMK | Voice To Melt Knickers (the Voice Deliberately Cultivated By Some Doctors) |
| TWA | Third World Assassins. Slang For The Allegedly Poor Medical Care Delivered By Physicians Who Went To Medical School In Foreign Countries |
| EI | Eating In - Intravenous Feeding |
| C&T WARD | Coma Ward - "cabbages And Turnips" |
| BBB | Blood-Brain Barrier - Surgical Drapes |
| CFU | Complete(ly) F*ck(ed) Up |
| PSS | Positive Suitcase Sign - Patients Who Are Repeated Admissions For Prolonged Periods With No Physiological Cause Of Their Problems. They Turn Up At Hospital With Packed Suitcases Ready For Admission |
| CTD | Circling The Drain (Close To Death) |