| Acronym | Meaning |
| SEP | Somebody Else's Problem (not To Be Confused With Sepsis) |
| HBD | Has Been Drinking |
| AWTB | Away With The Birds; A Patient Who Is Totally Confused |
| D&D | Divorced And Desperate (middle Aged Female Who Visits Doctor Weekly Just For Male Attention) |
| WWI | Walking While Intoxicated (and Fell Over) |
| POMT | Please Optimize Medical Treatment - Don't Call Us Until You've Done Your Job First |
| CRS | Can't Remember Shit |
| ALP185 | Acute Lead Poisoning, 185 Grain Injection - 9mm Gunshot Wound |
| CFU | Complete(ly) F*ck(ed) Up |
| SOCMOB | Standing On Corner Minding Own Business (when Inexplicably Injured) |