| Acronym | Meaning |
| TVTP | Tried Vancomycin, Try Prayer (Vancomycin Is Anti-MRSA Drug) |
| IFOI | "I Fell On It" - (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| P4P | Penicillin For Prick (peniecille For Penile Discharge) |
| MAFAT | Mandatory Anasthaesia F**k Around Time, Precedes Any Incision |
| NGMI | Not Going To Make It |
| SODDI | Some Other Doctor Did It (when One Medic's Botched Jobs Must Be Put Right/answered For By Someone Else) |
| CF | Cockroach Factor - A Patient's Ability To Survive Trauma Or Serious Treatment Is Inversely Proportional To His Contribution To Society. |
| TTTR | Tooth To Tattoo Ratio - Visual Determination Of Basic Intelligence. A Positive Ratio (more Teeth Then Tattoos) Is Generally Better Than A Negative Ratio, Which Is Bad. |
| CTD | Circling The Drain (Close To Death) |
| DPS | (Hospitals) Disappearing Penis Syndrome: The Usual Reaction Of The Male Organ In Response To Insertion Of Catheter Or Endoscope |