| Acronym | Meaning |
 | UPF | Un-Passed Fart (gaseous Distended Abdomen) |
| GORK | God Only Really Knows |
| WAFTAM | ("woff-tam"): Waste Of F***ing Time And Money |
| SWAG | Scientific Wild Ass Guess |
| EMT | Extraordinary Masochistic Tendencies (joke At Expense Of Emergency Medical Technicians) |
| MAFAT | Mandatory Anasthaesia F**k Around Time, Precedes Any Incision |
| AWTF | Away With The Fairies; A Patient Who Is Totally Confused |
| D&D | Divorced And Desperate (middle Aged Female Who Visits Doctor Weekly Just For Male Attention) |
| DPS | (General Practice) Droopy Penis Syndrome: A Patient Wanting Viagra Prescription |
| TWSAM | Trash Will Survive And Multiply |
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