| Acronym | Meaning |
 | PIA | Pain In The Ass |
| PIAF | PIssed As A Fart (drunk) (also PAAF -Pissed As A Fart) |
| PID | Pus In 'Dere (PID Actually Means Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) |
| PITA | Pain In The Ass |
| PLH | Pray Long And Hard |
| PLTDP | Practice Limited To Dead People |
| PNR | Person Needed A Ride I.e. Minor Ailment But Called Ambulance Instead Of Taxi |
| POMT | Please Optimize Medical Treatment - Don't Call Us Until You've Done Your Job First |
| POPTA | Passed Out Prior To Arrival |
| PORG | Person Of Restricted / Retarded Growth (dwarf / Midget) |
| PP | Plank Positive - Stupid, As In "thick As 2 Short Planks" |
| PP | Pumpkin Positive - A Penlight Shone Into The Patient's Mouth/ear Would Encounter A Brain So Small That The Whole Head Would Light Up |
| PPA | Practicing Professional Alcoholic |
| PPP | Piss Poor Protoplasm |
| PPPPP | Piss Poor Protoplasm Poorly Put-together (really Old And / Or Decrepit) |
| PRATFO | Patient Reassured And Told To F*** Off |
| PSS | Positive Suitcase Sign - Patients Who Are Repeated Admissions For Prolonged Periods With No Physiological Cause Of Their Problems. They Turn Up At Hospital With Packed Suitcases Ready For Admission |
| PWFS | Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - An Ailment Which Presents At GP Surgeries On Monday Mornings |
| PWT | Poor White Trash (with A Condition Related To Their Lifestyle) |
| QID | Queen In Distress (hissy Fit) |
| RBG | Received By God (a Person In Receipt Of A Celestial Transfer) |
| RBS | Really Bad Shape |
| RHS | Rocking Horse Stool - Even Rarer Than Hen's Teeth |
| RLI | Rapid Lead Infusion - Obnoxious Patient Ought To Be Shot |
| RPVU | Relative Porsche Value Unit: Surgical Index Of Potential Income From The Repair Of Patient Injuries, Usually Orthopaedic In Nature. Fractured Finger = A Windscreen Wiper; A Fractured Hip = New Tyres Etc. |
| RR | Rocket Room - A Ward/unit Where There Are Many Deaths (many Transfers To Heaven) |
| RT | Room Temperature (dead) |
| RTTBBB | Rat-a-Tat-Tat With A Baseball Bat (hit With Blunt Instrument). |
| RTTL | Running Towards The Light - Dying |
| RUTUS | Rounding Up The Usual Suspects - Ordering A Set Of Tests For A Given Set Of Symptoms |
| S2 | Sit The F**k Down And Shut The F**k Up |
| SAS | Sick As Sh*t |
| SBA | Silver Bracelet Award - Patient Is A Prisoner Brought In Wearing Cuffs |
| SBI | Something Bad Inside E.g. Undiagnosed Cancer/unexpected Serious Condition Found When Performing Surgery |
| SBLEO | (pronounced S-B-Leo) Suicide By Law Enforcement Officer |
| SBOD | Stupid Bitch / Bastard On Drugs |
| SEP | Somebody Else's Problem (not To Be Confused With Sepsis) |
| SFS | Stinky Foot Syndrome (often Related To Homeless) |
| SFSF | Sphincter Factor Scale: 1 To 10 Scale Indicating Degree Of Bowel-loosening In Response To An Emergency |
| SHA | Ship His Ass (when Patients Refuse To Be Discharged). |
| SHAD | Syphilitic, Hypochondriac, Alcoholic Degenerate |
| SHPOS | Sub-Human Piece Of Sh*t |
| SHS | Sullen, Hostile, Stupid (often An Inner City Drug/alcohol Addict) |
| SIG | Stroppy Ignorant Girl |
| SIO | Sleeping It Off |
| SNUD | Sick Nigh Unto Death |
| SOB | Short Of Breath |
| SOB | Silly Old Bugger / B*stard / Bitch |
| SOB | Sitting Out Of Bed / Sitting On Bed |
| SOCMOB | Standing On Corner Minding Own Business (when Inexplicably Injured) |
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