| Acronym | Meaning |
| CYA | Cover Your Ass; Unnecessary Procedure/prescription Done To Avoid Being Sued |
| EMS | Earn Money Sleeping (joke At Expense Of Emergency Medical Service) |
| JPS | Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack Of Common Sense) |
| PHS | Positive Hilton Sign - Demanding Patient Expects Hilton Hotel Luxury; Indicates Patient Well Enough To Leave! |
| MCBP | Member Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| NLPR | No Longer Playing Records (dying) |
| ITBNTL | In The Box, Nail The Lid (dead Or Dying) |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| FIDO | F*ck It, Drive On (a Waste Of Time/hoax Ambulance Call) |
| SWW | Sick, Wet And Whiny (infant) |