| Acronym | Meaning |
| PCUINIA | Please Consult Us If New (Surgical) Issues Arise - I.e. Please Never Page Me Again |
| GDA | Gonna Die Anyway |
| TARFU | Things Are Really F*cked Up |
| FLB | Funny Little Bumps (unexplained Skin Bumps) |
| BMW | Bitch Moan & Whine |
| WNL | Will Not Listen; Patient Won't Take Medical Advice |
| AQP | Assuming The Q Position: Deteriorating Or Dying With Tongue Hanging Out |
| ELFS | Evil Little F*ckers (irritating Children) |
| TF BUNDY | Totally F*cked, But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet |
| QID | Queen In Distress (hissy Fit) |