| Acronym | Meaning |
| THC | Three Hots And A Cot; Sought In A&E By The Local Homeless |
| SWAG | Scientific Wild Ass Guess |
| PWFS | Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - An Ailment Which Presents At GP Surgeries On Monday Mornings |
| AOB | Alcohol On Board |
| GPO | Good For Parts Only (won't Survive) |
| C&T WARD | Coma Ward - "cabbages And Turnips" |
| TOG | Tears Of Gratitude |
| FES | Fluttering Eye Syndrome - Patient Faking Unconsciousness |
| YOYO | Youre On Your Own |
| FURB | Funny, Unusual, Rectal Blockage (people Who Use Inappropriate Objects To Insert Into The Rectum) |