| Acronym | Meaning |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| LFTWM | Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse) |
| ELFS | Evil Little F*ckers (irritating Children) |
| PBABLTO | Pine Box At Bedside, Leave Top Off |
| BMW | Bitch Moan & Whine |
| OTLP | On The Launch Pad (to Be Discharged To Home) |
| LPT | Low Pain Threshold |
| WAFTAM | ("woff-tam"): Waste Of F***ing Time And Money |
| EI | Eating In - Intravenous Feeding |
| HHS | Hospital Hobo Syndrome - Person Who Visits Multiple Hospitals Seeking Attention Or Accommodation |