| Acronym | Meaning |
| SAS | Sick As Sh*t |
| FTF | Failed To Fly (botched Suicide) |
| PNR | Person Needed A Ride I.e. Minor Ailment But Called Ambulance Instead Of Taxi |
| DPS | Dumb Parent Syndrome |
| D&D | Divorced And Desperate (middle Aged Female Who Visits Doctor Weekly Just For Male Attention) |
| ALS | Absolute Loss Of Sanity (nutcase) |
| KSS | Kidney Stone Squirm - A Spot Diagnosis In A&E |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| SSDD | Same Sh*t Different Day |
| SBOD | Stupid Bitch / Bastard On Drugs |