| Acronym | Meaning |
| THC | Three Hots And A Cot; Sought In A&E By The Local Homeless |
| FUBIL | F*ck You Buddy, I'm Leaving. The Act Of A Doctor At A Small Hospital Dumping A Critically Ill Patient On Larger Hospital On Friday Afternoon Before He Leaves For The Weekend. |
| YAVIS | Young, Attractive, Verbal, Intelligent, Successful. |
| WITPOMS | Why Is This Patient On My Service |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| YMRASU | Your Medical Records Are Screwed Up |
| CPM | Calcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex |
| BFF | Big, Fat Faker |
| SEP | Somebody Else's Problem (not To Be Confused With Sepsis) |
| TEC | Transfer To Eternal Care I.e. Dead |