| Acronym | Meaning |
| MU PAIN | Made Up Pain (especially For Sick Notes And Insurance Claims) |
| SAS | Sick As Sh*t |
| GLF | Ground Level Fall (tripped Over) |
| GPH | Goddamns Per Hour |
| JLD | Just Like Dad (often Used To Explain An FLK) |
| UDI | Unidentified Drinking Injury |
| PWFS | Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - An Ailment Which Presents At GP Surgeries On Monday Mornings |
| B&T | Bagged And Tagged - Body Ready For Dispatch To Morgue |
| HOPEFUL | Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life (i.e. OAPs Are Not Priority For Most Hospitals) |
| VBT | Very Bad Thing |