| Acronym | Meaning |
| CF | Cockroach Factor - A Patient's Ability To Survive Trauma Or Serious Treatment Is Inversely Proportional To His Contribution To Society. |
| AWTF | Away With The Fairies; A Patient Who Is Totally Confused |
| TVTP | Tried Vancomycin, Try Prayer (Vancomycin Is Anti-MRSA Drug) |
| DILF | Doctor I'd Like To F*** (Fornicate With): Nursing Slang For Good-looking Doctor |
| PFO | Pissed (Drunk) And Fell Over |
| AQR | Ain't Quite Right |
| PNR | Person Needed A Ride I.e. Minor Ailment But Called Ambulance Instead Of Taxi |
| GLF | Ground Level Fall (tripped Over) |
| CPM | Calcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex |
| IWB | Intercourse With Biscuits (F**king Crackers) |